


ALL OF ME

by jonginnahhh



Category: Apink, EXO
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:37:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonginnahhh/pseuds/jonginnahhh





	1. PART ONE

"You're always noisy in the morning." Jongin calmly stated, referring to her early morning nagging routine back home, and the girl sat behind his seat in the secluded part of the library.

They live in the same neighborhood; in fact their house is just beside each other's. He always hear her rant about this and that to her siblings in their house like there's no tomorrow, then next thing he knows is that she's the most quite person he's ever met in school. She barely speaks. For someone who's so loud at home, she sure has the self-control to be mute at school.

She doesn't talk unless she's required to answer during class recitation or one of her classmates asks her something which she replies directly with a few words. Or when her friend Choa bugs her, speaking of which, he's not sure how the two are even friends because Eunji seemed to like her privacy way too much and Choa is outright popular at school, she's the campus girl crush, being a cheerleader and all. Well, Eunji's popular too in her own way. Jongin doubt if she even knew that, she doesn't seem to care anyway.

Eunji on the other hand is someone who looked like you can bully at first glance but will make you think twice on the second cause she has this smug look on her face that shows that she will not tolerate any idiotic moves that's not worth of her time. So yeah, no one dared to bully Jung Eunji, one of the top students in their level. Not to mention how her mouth works like a machine gun on fire when she nags her siblings at home. And of course, only Jongin knows that. 

She's a little scary of her small frame to be honest.

Apparently they somehow ended up in same State University within their area when he got to college. And its just like a continuation of their high school life.

"You never heard a thing from me whenever you blasted your RnB's in your room when I was trying to study." She bites back. 

Their bedrooms were adjacent to each other and Jongin loved his music way too much to share to the whole neighborhood, she never really reprimanded him once. They're never close, despite from being neighbors since high school cause that's when the Kims moved in the subdivision; at first, they may exchange a sentence or more but that's just really about it.

Or okay, maybe more than 'that's just really about it'.

Jongin shifted on his seat a bit to turn to her, Eunji, was never the friendliest person you'll ever meet but she's never rude, unless maybe if you piss her off. If he hadn't known her for years it would have him taken aback. But he's already used to her cold demeanor. For a girl, the term cool, or rather cold, literally best describe her.

"Well, I thought you like my music." He simply said. He really thought she does.

"I do but its still too loud." She said casually. She thought her bad attitude will eventually scare Jongin away from talking to her whenever he has the chance but he didn't. He just doesn't seem to care. So she didn't care too. 

But, she actually never thought someone like Jongin would pay attention to her. Well, they mostly only talk in the library anyway but still. Jongin maybe a popular kid in school but he doesn't like playing the part, since he mostly spends his time in the library or probably in the dance studio.

Well, who would have thought that the most sought after campus crush, mysterious and all is actually a bookworm? And he's actually not out to get the girls but inside the library to stay away from them.

Eunji's sure he's probably read so much more than she ever has.

Eunji never liked crowded and noisy places, despite being noisy herself at home according to Jongin. To her defense, as the eldest among four siblings, she already has a lot on her plate and the school's library is her haven. Quiet and private since not most students are fond of the smell of books and sometimes deafening silence, so she really likes it there. She doesn't have many friends too and doesn't really like making some more cause for her its just a waste of time; she's more on quality than quantity anyway. She likes herself as her own companion as it is.

Jongin seems to be the same too. Eunji was even surprised to see him at the library the first time, at her usual place at the most corner of the library. Jongin was already popular back then, even being the new kid in school, he's really good at dancing and he's intelligent too, apparently girls and oh well some boys digs that kind of stuff way too much. Who wouldn't anyway? She did too before, for a couple of weeks maybe. Eventually her admiration for him died down cause that's just how she is, she can't stay to like things or anything in particular for too long, her mind is always restless and itching for new things all the time, and then she just see him as the guy next door, literally. He's friends with his equally popular kids in school, still friends with them till now. 

It was years ago, during their high school days. Now they're already on their last two years in college, they're still table mates in the library. She might as well consider him as one of her friends to be honest.

"You still like them."

"And your point is?"

"That you like them."

"I already said I do. Are you deaf?" She snapped. "Can we just not talk today please?" She sighed because she's really not in the mood for anyone right now.

Jongin transferred from his seat to the seat across her instead. He didn't say a word but stared at her intently, gaging what made her so worked up today.

After a few minutes, Eunji closed the books she's checking on because she's not really reading it but just flipping the pages hastily. She glared back at Jongin.

"What?" Jongin asked, feigning an innocent look as if he didn't intentionally made her conscious of his stare. "You said not to talk; you didn't say I can't look at you."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't smart-ass on me now Kim."

He smirked. "Spill it. What's wrong?"

Eunji just blinked because she hated Jongin for being such a Mr. Know-it-All at her all the freaking time. He thought he knew everything. 

They're neighbors for crying out loud and Eunji can't really hide much from him because of that. They're both the type who doesn't like beating around the bush, so if one wants to share then so be it in a direct manner. And if not then they respect each others decision. Plus the fact that Jongin is one trustworthy guy she knew for years now with rational thinking and all. 

They're like secret friends or something cause they never talk much outside aside from some nods and small smile of acknowledgment of each other when the bump with each other within the university but they really knew way too much about each other than what they seem to look like.

Having him around wasn't so bad. They can have some deep conversations at rare times. Ask each others opinions about something important or not so important. They can also fool around insulting each other in a good natured way. What she actually liked about them is that they can talk with each other with just about anything. And they can be both just sit there and kill time without talking at all.

"Dad said, mum is getting married." She said.

Jongin sighed and became serious looking all of a sudden.

"And you're not happy about it? She finally found her happiness for the second time around." He said afterwards.

Yeah. He's right. Her mother was never happy for a couple of years back with her father. They fought all the time and it wasn't a pretty sight to watch for a teenager like her back then, what more for her siblings. It was rather horrible and if it wasn't because of her siblings that she needed to feed because both her parents are busy at work or from fighting and or avoiding each other, she would have camped in in the library all her days. Thus, that resulted for them to divorce.

"I don't really care. But dad was... I dunno. I think he still loves mum. He looked so down and has been rotting in his room for three days now." She sighed again. "He hasn't even taken a bath yet. And when I went to his room this morning, it smelled like he's been drinking again." She said in exasperation. Combing her hair with her fingers in the process. "Mum shouldn't have returned at all."

"I don't know what to do." She added after a moment of silence.

Jongin sighed. "Well, you don't do anything. Maybe you're right that your dad still love your mom but he's old enough to know what the right thing to do is. I mean I know Mr. Jung is a very rational man. Just let him be for the mean time. He's been taking care of you four without your mom for years now and he's been doing a good job so far. He'll come around."

And he's right again. When her mum left five years ago, all four of them stayed with their dad and he worked even harder without any support from their mum who went hiatus for the time being. After three years she showed up again, wanting to help financially but that's not really necessary cause her dad's business has been good enough to support all their needs and later they find out that their mom really came back to petition for divorce; which was granted just recently.

"I know. Mum is really insensitive. They haven't been divorced for a year and yet here she is, announcing another marriage. God she's so annoying!"

To say she's annoyed is actually an understatement. She's infuriated. Her mum must be the most ambitious woman in the world! Her dad is already the ideal husband but she can't seem to grasp that because she wanted all these designer's bags, clothes and all, and her dad did everything he could to keep her. Her mum used to nag her dad a lot. Wanting to have her own business when she knew they were still struggling with their business that her father just put up.

In short she wants everything that it doesn't make any sense anymore for a woman in her forties with four children already!

"Try to understand her. She had you on your age now. You can't blame her for wanting a new life that she wanted now. She's not getting any younger and life's too short to not enjoy every bit of it."

She let out a harsh breath and glared at him as she piles her books in her arms, preparing to leave. "You've been reading too much novels Kim." She huffed and stood from her seat.

How come he's always right?!

Jongin just shrugged and smiled.

"They come in handy at times." He said. Are you leaving already?"

"I'm meeting mum's boyfriend."

"Oh. Today?" He asked looking up at her.

"Tomorrow."

"Okay. Good luck then. You know you can't ignore you mom forever."

"I know."

~~~

Eunji can't help but let out a sigh for the nth time. 

She realized sighing has become her habit these days. She's so disappointed at almost everything these days, that's why.

Her eyes boring to her mother and her boyfriend across the round table in that fancy restaurant. She came alone cause her two sisters and brother didn't want to come along. Her siblings hated their mother, to say the least.

Now, they're not that dramatic kind of family because they're actually loud but they have their moments too, especially when their mother is involved.

She used to hate her too but she's already past that now. She just doesn't give a damn anymore and just want to get it over with. Being the eldest, she's become the representative of her family in this long overdue dinner.

They ate in silence and she ate as fast as she could that she will definitely have indigestion after this dinner is finished. She already feels bloated too for drinking so much water just to push the food down.

Damn.

They're already having their deserts when her mom spoke.

"I'm glad you came, Eunji. Please tell your brother and sisters that I missed them so much and I want to have another dinner with them too next time. So they can meet In-gook. Oh?" Her mother said.

"It would be nice if we're complete." Eunha added.

Complete. That's rich coming from someone who actually broke the chain and made it incomplete. Great!

Eunji drank her third glass of sparkling water and cleared her throat before speaking. "Mum. Uhm. Can I talk to you, alone?" She said with her expressionless face, she stared at Mr. Park who got the message right away and smiled warmly.

"Honey, you can tell me everything with In-gook here. He's -"

"That's okay, Eunha. I need to use the men's room anyway. You ladies talk." Mr. Park cut her mum off. The man headed to the restroom as he said before her mum could say another word.

Eunji was thankful that her mum at least found a decent man, although its too early to really say as such but Mr. Park seemed like a decent man. She doesn't feel any dark cloud with him, and that's a good at least.

"Mum. Taehyung, NaEun and Namjoo dont even want to see you and we all know that. I just came so you would stop bugging us about this meet up dinner with your boyfriend. The kids are..." She paused and sighs once more. "W-well they're not happy to hear you're getting married again. And dad is a little down too. In short, its practically gloomy at home these days so I hope you won't keep on calling or coming over unannounced or even with a notice."

"Eunji..." Eunha uttered with sadness filling her voice. "Do you, d-do you hate me too?" She choked the words out, almost tearing up. "Y-you still haven't forgiven me too, right?

Eunji sighed once again. Seeing her mother two years ago, after she just disappeared for three years gave her, or the entire family turmoil of mixed emotions. Cause, you just don't disappear at your own family and then show up claiming your spot as mother to your children when you abandoned them without a word even after so much pleading and crying from your children as you pack your bags and left the door for good without so much as looking back.

One day. After months of fight. Her mother just decided that she's done for. Packed her bags as her four children watch her, all of them wailing like the kids that they were. Their father was still at work. Her mother was crying too but was already determined to do what she planned to. She just left and they didn't hear from her again until two years ago. 

Even so, she still come and goes as she pleases. She calls and being ignored. She visits their house but no one really pays her attention aside from her their dad. Their foolish dad, who thinks there's still hope for him and his wife now that she showed her face again. Only to be devastated again cause she's back with a divorce petition all the while.

Eunji can't say who suffered the most with her mother's departure. Her father who looked for her mother for months until he realized he won't really find someone who doesn't want to be found; or her siblings who grew hatred more and more with their mother as they see their father suffer, as they see them all suffer. It took them months and months before they pulled their selves together. Their father became workaholic from alcoholic and being depressed. He took care of their business and his four children singlehandedly.

Everyone took their own part to rebuild their family again as it is now.

So, can her mum really blame her children for hating her?

Eunji doesn't think so.

"I would be lying if I say I'm happy about all this but..." Another sigh. "Mum, aren't you asking for too much for wanting us to be one happy family again with your boyfriend?" A pause. "Actually, I think its better if we go on our separate ways after tonight. Its not because I'm hating on you cause that's all in the past now, and you've already got what you wanted. You're free now." Another pause. "I mean, I can be happy for you as long as you're happy. Seriously." A sigh. "But you dragging us along with your new found happiness is just, uhm, it won't work. You weren't there when everything went downhill for us and we just got back up from that fall and I don't want to see us going through the same path again. I understand that you want a different life. But, you can't just come back as if nothing happened. Again, you're free now, let's stop this push and pull that you're doing with us for these past two years. You are still our mother and nothing can change that but please, just leave us be. Please." She said with so much struggle not to cry in front of her mother. "I hope this is the last time you force yourself to us like this. Also, you know we're not so fond of fancy stuff or something like this at all, so please stop sending us things, especially those that we don't really need. Rest assure that Dad is providing us everything we ever needed."

"And for your question if I already forgive you. I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know, but I still wish you the happiness you wanted that we can't give you. I have to go now. Thank you for the dinner. Please tell Mr. Park to take care of you and congratulations on your engagement."

Eunji rose from her seat and rushed out of the restaurant.

She can't believe she finally said all that to her mother. The moment she came back, all she wanted to tell her was to just get the hell out of their lives like she did before but she resort to avoiding her almost all the time. Surely, a confrontation for once in for all should have been better long before.

Her heart was beating wild. Her breath ragged and tears flowing carelessly on her cheeks as she hailed a cab. 

Why the heck is she crying too? She's over the fact that her mom left them and now...

Tch. She doesn't care.

But, then again, she felt bad saying those words to her.

Oh. God. She's just as messed up as her mother!

It was a good idea she didn't bring a car. She can't drive with her current state anyway.

~~~

She reached home after more than an hour because she roamed at the park to cool down a bit.

She can't let her family know she even cried.

Just not her style.

When she opened the door, Taehyung was in the living room, watching some reality show on TV.

"Where is everybody?"

"How's the dinner?"

"Did you already have dinner?"

"Noona, Dad went out with Mr. Kim. NaEun and Namjoo are in their rooms. And yes, we already had our dinner. Now, how's your dinner with mum?" Taehyung asked impatiently. 

A few moments later and she didn't say anything.

He rose from the sofa and walked towards Eunji who seemed to stuck on their doorway, head down and shoulders slumped like a defeated fighter that she never was.

His sister has always been the stronger one among them. She became their mother figure when their own mother left to follow her own 'dream life'.

Eunji has always been there for them. She even quit some of the things she likes to have more time for their family. All her efforts is surely appreciated, that's why even though she nags all the time, they all take it heart cause they know their sister just wanted the best for them.

Seeing Eunji looking so vulnerable like this is an unusual sight and it breaks his heart too.

He walked closer to his sister and pulled her for an embrace.

Eunji snaked her arms around her brother's waist, who grew taller than her now. Funny how she's the oldest but the shortest among the four siblings.

She can't help but let out a sob again. She thought she already finished crying at the park, seems like that's not the case.

"I told her to leave us alone. I feel so bad. Taehyung-ah... I'm such a bad daughter..." she said in between her sobs.

"SShhh... its okay. You did well." Taehyung said gently and he pulled her closer.

They remained like that for a couple of minutes, NaEun and Namjoo was suddenly at the foot of the staircase and saw them.

Namjoo walked towards them first, joining the hug and NaEun following suit.

None of them uttered a word but hugged each other tightly instead.

They all sobbed altogether by the door like that moment when their mother left them. They held onto each other like each one of them is their own life saver like they really are.

~~~

"Yah! Jung Taehyung! What the hell is this? I told you to separate your colored shirts from the white ones!" She yelled as she strode to Taehyung's room, a typical messy boy's room, tugging his hamper of dirty clothes.

She kicked him on the leg when he didn't even budge from his sleep on his bed. "Noona. That hurts okay? Gosh you're so violent. That's why you can't even get a boyfriend; you're scaring all the guys! Aish!" He complains and grumbled as Eunji kicks him again, this time out of his own bed.

"That was uncalled for, you brat! Get your lazy ass downstairs or well be late for school! You dumbass!" She said angrily and strode out of room.

"And your mouth Miss Jung! Your potty mouth will also scare the good guys away!" He yelled back.

Taehyung left scratching his head and bum that fell on the floor.

 

"You went out with Mr. Kim, dad?" Eunji asked; they're now having their breakfast, two days after that night. Her dad looked better than the last few days back, he even shaved today so Eunji thinks he's in a good mood to talk.

"Yeah. We talked about business." Taeso answers. "How's the dinner with your mom?"

And all of them fell silent. 

"It was okay." She simply said.

The rest continued with their breakfast quietly. Which is very rare but they all knew its needed.

~~~

"Your house was silent for a few days now. Its strange that its creeping me out." Jongin comments and took a seat next to Eunji. He just arrived in the library and seeing Eunji at their favorite spot after a few days was actually nice. He's been missing her and her sass.

"I thought you didn't like the noise. You whined last time remember?" She replied without glancing at him. She's so busy writing a term paper that's due next day.

"I wasn't complaining. I almost got late for these past few days cause you're quiet back home. You're my alarm you know?"

Eunji paused on writing and glared at Jongin, lips on a thin li

Jongin looks fresh with his baby blue and white shirt, sleeves folded till the elbow, his hair tousled neatly but not too neat, he looked different from the usual rugged looking Jongin that she's used to.

He looked like a good mannered guy you want to present to your parents as a boyfriend.

Jongin smiled, showing his perfect set of teeth.

Jongin winked and Eunji blinked. Snapping out of her daze, clearing her throat afterwards.

"Done checking me out?"

"What?" She asked back, furrowed eyebrows.

"I said, -"

"I heard you the first time." She cut him off. She did hear him but didn't register to her brain right away. "I wasn't checking you out. I just thought you look different today. What happened to your gray-ish hair?" She asked after gaining composure. Jongin's hair is now dark brown. 

"Why, do you like it better?"

"I said you look different. I never said I liked any." She snapped.

Jongin chuckled. The sound of his small laughter is making her feel weird for some reason.

"God. Is it so difficult to admit that I look good?" Jongin said, shaking his head as he started doing his own business.

"Kim." She started, looking at Jongin's side profile. "You know I'm not a liar."

"Yeah. Yeah. Whatever."

His sharp jaw is to die for to be honest, Eunji chuckles this time as Jongin doesn't pay attention to her anymore.

"Stop staring. You wouldn't want to hurt your eyes looking at someone ugly." He snapped, faking a hurt tone and writing vigorously on his white paper.

Eunji chuckles some more.

"Now, you don't put words into my mouth."

Jongin paused writing, turned his head to her smiling face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He cocked an eyebrow, looking expectant.

"You know the problem with you? We've known each other for so long and by now you should have known how straightforward I can get, but you still like to assume."

Jongin's eyes squinted suspiciously. Of course he knew how her mouth works. She's too forward for her own good sometimes to be honest.

"Well?" he said waiting for her to finally say it.

"Well, does my opinion really that matters? Aren't your fan girls enough? That's the main reason why you're always hiding here right?" She stated as-a-matter-of-fact.

"Your opinion matters the most." He said seriously as he looks at her in the eyes.

Eunji just grimaced. 

"Fine. Before you use your smooth moves on me, stop okay? You're giving me creeps."

"Really now?"

"Really. So I think... you look okay with any hairstyle I've seen you on." She admitted.

"Just okay?"

"You look good."

"Just good?"

"You see Kim. That's the most I can give you today. Try again tomorrow okay?"

"Fine! I look good, you say? See, that wasn't so hard. Thanks." He said grinning and went back to his paper as Eunji did the same. "Just don't fall for me okay, as you know, I'm avoiding crazy fan girls and I hope you won't turn into one." He added chuckling.

"Tch. A guy can dream Kim." She muttered.

And they fell silent onwards as they finish their respective works.

That's their routine. They talk for some time then not talk at all after and just bid each other goodbye afterwards.

After a few more hours, Eunji picked her stuff to head home. She needs to prepare dinner before her dad arrives cause Namjoo texted her that she's still with a classmate for a project with NaEun, well as for Taehyung, he can't really cook so he's no use in the kitchen even if he's at home already.

"You're done?" Jongin asked, pointing to her papers.

"Not yet, but no one's going to make dinner. I'll just finish this at home. See ya." She said, she was about to walk off but she remembered something.

She turned to a still sitting Jongin.

"Oh. Thanks for last time by the way. I finally had the courage to tell mum everything I wanted to tell her. So -" She pauses cause Jongin suddenly rose from his seat and walked towards her, until they're just half a feet away, towering her with his tall stance, Jongin looking serious as she looked up to him, confused a bit, taken aback a bit, surprised a bit... when Jongin took two more steps as she froze on her spot and he suddenly pulled her for hug.

His hand at the back of her head, stroking her hair gently and his other hand were on the small of her back. A hug that wasn't intruding but rather comforting. It felt foreign but somehow... it wasn't really.

Eunji just stood still. Not sure what to do. Should she push him or...

Her mind suddenly stopped working for some reason. Her heartbeat was steady but she felt kind of fuzzy. She felt warm and something really nice that she can't explain into words.

Her head slightly leaning in between his broad shoulder and upper side of his strong chest.

"You did well. I'm so proud of you." He softly said, still stroking her hair. He knew how much the family next door suffered after the Mrs. Jung left. He's seen it all and the way they handled it was really commendable, they're still a happy and cheery family after all.

He knew how difficult it was for Eunji to face her mother as she had avoided her most of the time.

Forgiving and letting go of the past was something Eunji was having a hard time to do all this time, despite the fact that she always say that she didn't care anymore, she still actually do. No matter how much she acts tough and cold. She always does.

"Jongin, what were you doing?" She asked rather in daze after he let her go. Her throat suddenly gone dry as she looked up to him again.

Jongin smiled and ruffled her hair, ruining her bangs at the same time then fixing it again for her. All the while, Eunji just stood still, looking surprised to say the least to even react with the skinship that Jongin initiated, something they've never done before.

"I was just congratulating you. Finally." He said casually, still smiling.

"Oh." Her intelligent reply. 

What the hell just happened anyway?

"Oh. Yeah. So. Yeah. Thanks again. I thought about what you told me and I guess it was the appropriate time to talk to her. So yeah." She said almost stuttering. "I have to go." She added and turned her heel to walk out of the library as swift as she could.

Good thing no one saw them, well, maybe the librarian. 

What was Jongin thinking?

He must have gone nuts!

They're not even 'that' close.

They're not even really friends, or maybe they are a little, in the library only.

Well, whatever, that was just weird.

~~~

"Hot stuff, coming our way nerdy." Choa comments.

They're at the University's cafeteria as both of them have a free hour.

"What hot stuff?" Eunji said as she took a bite of her ham and cheese sandwich, uncaring.

"Fix your face." Choa said and simple fixed her already perfect blonde bangs.

"And how do I do that?" Eunji asked sarcastically. "Would it make me prettier if adjust my eyes above my eyebrows?" She added. Seriously, Choa really needs to fix her vocabulary and language instead.

"That's not what I meant! Aish, you're such a mess!" Choa mutters and reached to the corner of Eunji's mouth to wipe the excess mayonnaise and wiped to the tissue on the table. "Hush. He's here now." Choa said after and shifted to seat properly.

Eunji looked over shoulder to see what her friend is on about and to her surprise; Jongin was actually striding their way, smiling faintly.

Before she could react, Jongin already sat to the empty seat next to her.

"Hi ladies," he said.

"So what's a hot stuff doing in the nerdy table?" Choa said, batting her eyelashes with exaggeration that Eunji almost choked on the banana yoghurt she's now sipping.

"Hot stuff? Are we talking about you here?" Jongin casually answers.

Smooth, Jongin. Smooth. Eunji huffed to herself.

Ah. Right. Jongin is a closet nerdy.

"Oh my. Kim Jongin. Do you have a girlfriend right now? I'm single you know." Choa giggles, leaning closer to Jongin.

Eunji grimaced seeing how her friend openly flirts with Jongin. 

Why is she even friends with her again?

Jongin smiled. "No I don't have a girlfriend right now but I'm too busy to date, as much as I want to date you I don't want to give you only half the time and effort you deserve." He said without missing a beat.

Ah. Really smooth. So that's how you dump someone subtly?

Ah. She really should learn a lot from Jongin in that department, well, its not like she has someone to dump anytime soon. Her glare is more than enough to scare the guys away anyway.

"Awww. Well, let me know when you're ready. Okay?" 

And the both of them chuckles.

And Eunji just stared at them both with disbelief, judging them, hard, as she shook her head.

"Actually, I'm here for the geek. I need her help for something. Do you mind if I borrow her?" He asks Choa, as if Eunji isn't capable of her own decision.

Choa just pursed her lips. "Just as I thought, the geek, right." She huffed.

Her being called names as nerd and geek doesn't bother her at all; its actually a compliment for her. People being aware of her intellectual capacity is... very much well appreciated.

Besides, its Choa and Jongin, the way they say it sounds like they're calling her endearments.

Wait, what?

Choa smiled cheekily. "Of course. You can have her, keep her in your heart to take care of too if you want." She said suggestively that Eunji glared at her friend.

Wow. What a friend she has there.

"So, let's go?" Jongin smiled and turned to Eunji who still looked unhappy that she's being tossed around like that.

Jongin held her wrist to tug her up from her seat without so much of a warning and Eunji could only oblige as some people are already staring. Probably wondering what a Kim Jongin doing with someone like her. 

She gave Choa a death glare once more before Jongin pulled her to walk out of there.

"Are you mad at me or something? You've been so quiet." He asks right away as soon as they left cafeteria.

"What is it that you need from me?" She responds.

"Hold on. Answer me first. Did I do something wrong? I haven't seen you in a while in the library." Jongin hated how honest she can be sometimes; its because she has the habit to answer differently or answer by another question if she wants a way out of the original topic and doesn't want to answer. Thus, telling a lie.

Jongin stopped from walking, tugging her arm to halt too and making them stood face to face.

She's not sure why she has to explain herself to him but she did anyway. "I was busy with my Thesis."

Jongin nodded. "I see. But you're always busy but that didn't stop you from coming to the library."

She arched an eyebrow. Knowing where this conversation is going.

"I wasn't avoiding you, if that's what you want to hear. I didn't know we have this mutual agreement to see each other in the library every time. So, what do you need from me Kim?"

Right. They didnt have such agreement but its like the norms already. Jongin said to himself.

"Alright." He sighed. "As long as you're not avoiding me." He said and started walking again, heading to the parking area of the university and Eunji still following suit.

"You haven't answered me yet." She reminded him, just in case he didn't know she's still following him behind with a distance. 

Why does she even bother?

Well, Jongin wouldn't just approach her out of the blue just like that if he just wants to know her whereabouts, right?

She's sure he's pretty busy himself.

It must be something important.

"Walk faster, please."

"Well, its not my fault if your legs are longer than mine you know? Where are we going anyway?" She snapped. "I still have a class in an hour."

"Don't worry, I already talked to your prof, he gave me your class topic discussion too, I'll give it to you later, so you're free for today."

"And why is that?" She asks. She's not one to miss classes, she's not aware that Jongin's charm could also affect their professors.

"You're going with me to dad's company anniversary party tonight." He simply said.

They stopped in front of Jongin's navy SUV.

"Hold on. You're bringing me to an event without telling me first. And oh, hold on, what gave you the impression that I would go with you? And why me, in the first place?" She ranted, perplexed.

What the hell?

Jongin's bringing her as a date? That's what it is right?

Does Jongin really think they're on that level of closeness now?

Jongin grinned. "Well, that's a lot of questions. Which is understandable?" He said, nodding. "You see, I was about to tell you days ago but you weren't going to the library these days. Also, this is a business affair. I'm not just bringing you as a date if that's what you're thinking," he pauses, because he knew that must be what's on her mind. "But more importantly as your father's proxy. He's invited but he asked me to take you instead. You see, our dads are pretty much having some business talks and all lately so that's why." He explains.

"You talked to dad?"

Jongin almost rolled his eyes. That's as much she got from his explanation? Amazing!

"I talk to your family, for your information. We're neighbors remember? Neighbors talk to each other Miss Jung, in case you didn't know." He deadpans.

Well, what the - 

Well, when did that ever happen?

"Just because we only hang in the library most of the time doesn't mean I don't know anything about you outside of that place."

"You stalker." She accused.

"Uhm being neighborly is the appropriate term." He supplied.

"Neighborly my ass." She said pursing.

Jongin shakes his head in response.

"So let's go?" He said, rounding the car and even opened the door for her. "Just think of this that you're helping your dad's business in gaining more connections and I'm the one helping you out here okay, so you owe me."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes but got in his car, good thing Taehyung got her car.

How come her dad never mentioned a thing?

And Jongin knew he just won over her, since he already heard 'whatever'.

~~~

Jongin thought he'd already seen enough of Eunji's beauty, from her teenage years up to now that she's grown into a fine lady, he was never so wrong.

He already finds her beautiful with her casual and laid back style, usually on a fluffy sweat shirts, plain shirts, plaid shirts or any kind of shirts she's ever worn with her usual skinny pants, tattered jeans or even shorts she's always pulled off but the sight of her in that navy corset mini dress makes him want to pack her in the most expensive glass box there is and keep her in his room for his eyes only.

Her long hair was curled into perfection. Her make-up was smokey hot yet classy. He's just not too familiar with all the details of her look now but he's sure can say she's perfect!

She's simply dressed to kill... to slaughter his poor heart.

Yes. He's that crazy over her.

He never thought that that one time accidental trip in the library could make his life change so much.

When his family moved to that neighborhood, he was just curious with the loud girl next door. Always scolding her younger siblings around like a grandma and he finds it really cute. 

His curiosity seemed to grow into a small crush. 

Became an admiration how she's so hands-on with her younger siblings while their parents are away for work as they didn't have a house help even then. The four of them plays around a lot by themselves too, surprisingly; her siblings are actually obedient to her. One of the many things he's envious about being an only child himself.

They're good kids and really a closed-knit family.

He's quite a shy kid to be honest, so even though he wants to make friends, especially to be friends with the kids next door, he just can't seem to bring himself to do that back then.

So when he found out that he shares some classes with her at school, it made him really excited, packed tons of bravery cause he's finally having the chance to talk to her without being a creep cause classmates talk to each other right?

Its just that...

The problem was she just never talk to just anyone. She was one of those kids that are just quiet at school. Smart and intimidating.

She was also a part the student council, which only made it more difficult for him to approach her as she has a lot of duties; she even does some tutorials and other more things on top of that.

Jongin just grew a little frustrated because of their differences, it would be really awkward to just approach her without any relevant concern, or he might just look like an idiot and that's not what he wants to portray in front of his only crush.

It was really interesting for Jongin to just secretly watch her on the sidelines while plotting ways to approach her in a cool way like a creep that he was.

He must look cool in her eyes!

He thought with conviction.

Jongin though, despite of his growing popularity in school, wanting to impress a certain someone wasn't just working at all. 

It seemed like Eunji doesn't even know him. 

Dammit! She never once glances at him too!

He even joined the music club because he heard she's a member but then when he did, Eunji quit all of a sudden. Then he joined the school's newspaper org but Eunji had quit too. He even joined the photography club even though he sucks at even taking a mere selca, only to find out that she had already quit the club. 

So everything he's done to 'accidentally' bump into her was all in vain to his utter dismay.

One day, to find peace from his 'fan girls' he decided to find refuge in the library. He loves reading anyway, so as he wait for his group mates to finish their classes so they can head on to their usual dance practice, he stays in the library.

The 'chance' has finally come.

Who would have thought that that's the only place where he could ever get the best chance to talk to her without being too obvious.

And the one more good thing, she's without that Student Council Kim Junmyeon who he noticed to tail Eunji lately too! Damn, he already has a competition and he hasnt got that 'chance' to make his move!

So he acted fast that time!

He still remembers their first ever conversation.

"Can I sit here?" He asks. Trying his hardest to act cool but deep inside he's like a fan girl doing somersaults and back flips. In his case, a fan boy. A hardcore one at that!

Eunji just looked up from the book she was reading, stared at him and eyeing the long table with nine more seats available, as if telling him how there's so many seats unoccupied so why sit beside her, well, he was waiting for her to state the obvious and he knew it was foolish too but he also thought its now or never so whatever, and to his relief, she said otherwise.

"I don't own this, so you can sit anywhere you want, I guess." She just said and turned her attention to the book on her hand again.

Jongin smiled, willing his self to calm the fuck down because her voice was so nice to his ears and his heart wanted to jump out of his ribcage.

He sat to the very next seat next to hers, shamelessly. He just feels fucking amazing even though he's almost going deaf at the sound of his own heartbeat, so fucking nervous and his hands went clammy but he knew he must, he must act cool.

He must have done a lot more cussing on his mind already good for a year cause he's so freaking excited and nervous at the same time!

"The little prince. That's a nice book." He commented after a few minutes, when he thought he's voice won't crack up when he speaks.

Eunji didn't reply after a few more minutes that Jongin wondered if he even said the words loud enough to be heard or he's just saying that in his mind or she just don't want to talk to him.

"You've read this?" She turned to him after a few more minutes, Jongin almost had a heart attack from hearing her voice all of a sudden and from an utter surprise, but again, he need to keep his cool and so he did.

Cool. Be cool. Keep cool. 

She was waving the book to him and Jongin smiled as he nods.

Jongin haven't seen her that close before and he thinks she's really pretty.

Her small nose, thin lips, her eyes looked large that moment but he knew it can transform into cute half-moon crescents when she smiles, ah, her eye smile is his most favorite even if he's only seen it from a far a few times.

"Great! Then maybe you can help me with my reaction paper? I have a lot of things to do so maybe you can summarize me the key points for me to finish faster and all. I'd really appreciate it. Oh! We're classmates in Algebra and Biology. In case, you didn't know. Uhm. Yeah, my name is Jung Eunji." She exclaimed all of a sudden, extended her hand to him for a quick handshake that Jongin can only oblige rather too quickly as he's still in shock. 

Now, that's the Jung Eunji next door that he knows.

"You're Kim Jongin right? Oh right, look at that, we're actually neighbors too! So, will you help me then?" She blurted and Jongin chuckled with relief and total amusement, and for that very moment he really wanted to do that somersault and disturb the serenity inside that library.

She knows him! 

Well, fuck. 

"Sure."


	2. PART TWO

"You done checking me out?" Eunji snapped him out of his daze. "Well, are we just going to stand here to what?" She said, sounding impatient. 

Jongin was acting strange. As if he's seen a ghost or something. Last time she checked herself in that life sized mirror back in the salon, she was looking decent anyhow.

Honestly, she was pleased to see her reflection back there.

Surely she knows that Jongin had dated only beautiful girls and maybe she doesn't suit his ideal type?

Well, of course, silly of her for thinking that! She's not as stylish as those girls he dated but she's not so bad herself. Right?

Ah! Her thighs perhaps? Tsk. She admits that her thighs were rather thick than those skinny girls out there but... geez, why does the dress seemed too short?

It made her all conscious all of a sudden.

What the hell was she thinking anyway?!

Jongin let out a very satisfied grin and shook his head lightly and Eunji eyed him suspiciously.

"Can't I check a beauty at sight out?"

Ah. The devil must be playing her tonight!

"Ah. The ever smooth, Kim Jongin. You know that won't work on me. Let's go." She just said instead and headed to the car to open the door herself, but Jongin was fast and he did it for her anyway.

The ride on the way to the event was rather awkward for Eunji, for a lot of reasons.

For one, everything was a rush. Nevertheless, Jongin seemed to have taken care of everything. From the dress down to the shoes she's now wearing.

Plus, Jongin's acting really strange as the moment goes on. He's smiling like an idiot to himself and glancing at her when he thought she's not looking when she can actually see him from her peripherals. Looks stupid, really.

Does she look funny to him?

Earlier, she called her dad too and was informed about the event; apparently her dad has forgotten to tell her.

He even told her to behave, and keep her mouth in 'control' cause she'll be representing him on that event. Her father, really.

Her father's business is just a small one; his firm has only eight architects in total. Two management employees and himself. This is the first time she's attending a formal event. 

As far as she knew, Jongin's family is in a construction business; in fact Jongin is taking up engineering. As he will obviously take over their business at the right time being the only child.

She's not sure what business her father and Jongin's father was on about but its not like she's very much knowledgeable in that department as well so she might as well leave the pro with themselves. As a good daughter she must abide her father, especially if it will help their own business.

When they arrived at the venue, it was one of the five-star hotels in the city, very fancy and everyone looked at their best with their suits and gowns.

Making her feel nervous and giddy at the same time.

Eunji thought she'd be out of place but Jongin was beside her all throughout the evening, she was really thankful.

Jongin actually, uhm, how does she put word to best describe Jongin that night aside from looking dashing in his navy tux, matching her dress?

He looked so dignified and business-like. As if he's already in the circle for a while now, or maybe be is, judging by the way he handle every small talks to each businessman they pass through that event was definitely commendable. 

He's so cool that she sees him in a different light.

Wait, scratch that, he's more than cool. He's the real deal.

And his hand never left her. Its either he's holding her own hand, or on her arm, elbow, her bare shoulders and sometimes wrapped possessively round her waist or at small of her back.

For some odd reason, she finds comfort from his touches and her nervousness subsided too.

They met a lot of people; she also met Jongin's parents for the first time. Imagine how they've been neighbors for years, and she only met them now?!

She now wonders if she's really too loud back home like what Jongin keeps on saying, because if that's the truth then there's a huge possibility that his parents heard her being boisterous.

Even though their houses are next to each other, there's still fairly more than enough distance and Jongin's house is almost twice as big as theirs. It just happen that Jongin's room is adjacent to hers. But still...

Ah. How embarrassing!

Jongin's parents were warm and welcoming.

They shared the table with them and Eunji thought it would be awkward but that wasn't the case at all.

"I heard you cook really well, sweetheart." Mrs. Kim smiled at her. "Jongin here talks a lot about you."

Eunji gave her a puzzled look. She was about to answer but Jongin beats her to it.

"Mom, we still have school tomorrow. I think we better head home first." Jongin said rather too quickly, sounded alarmed of something.

"Oh, that's right." His mother agreed, smiling knowingly.

His father just gave him a nod and a knowing look.

And Eunji felt out of place for a minute there with their exchanges of 'that' look.

Damn. She must have looked odd tonight!

Is her dress too revealing, maybe? Nah. Its not like there's much to reveal anyway. And it doesn't seem like it though.

Is Jongin talking shit behind her back about her? Nah. Jongin wouldn't do such a thing!

"Let's go?" Jongin stood and held his hand to her that she hesitantly took.

And she let's go her weird thoughts too. Not really pondering.

She bowed to Jongin's parents and bid their goodbyes.

Well. That was rather fast. She thought.

~~~

"So you talk a lot about me, huh?" She teases as Jongin drives them home.

"Mom's exaggerating. But yes, I might have mentioned about you once." He answers and clears his throat.

She nodded. "I see." She dropped the subject as fast as she brought it up, just in case it might get awkward for Jongin, as the air got thick all of a sudden too.

Cause why would someone perfect with an equally perfect family like him would talk about her?

Her and her broken family.

Don't get her wrong, she loves her family, so much and she will do anything for them in a heartbeat.

There's never an instance that she was ashamed to be a part of her family cause her father is an amazing man with his equally amazing son and daughters.

Its just that those people who dont know better are the one who judges easily.

Although she can definitely take on anything if they would say bad things about her family, its still better to just not hear anything at all.

And she doesn't want to deal with that kind of mundane things.

That's why she preferred to stay away from people as much.

That's why she chooses well who she can become friends with.

That's just a part of her own way to protect her own family.

 

"Thanks for tonight." She said after Jongin walked her to her doorsteps. 

Jongin insisted to park his car first to their driveway and they walked to her house after. For what reason he may have, she's not sure. He's just really an idiot sometimes.

"No, thank you. And you looked really beautiful tonight."

She looks at him suspiciously, remembering his weird actions that whole night.

"Don't I always?" She jokes instead.

"Yes. Just exceptionally tonight."

"Okay, if you're saying that to fish a compliment from me again, alright, you looked exceptionally gorgeous tonight."

"Aren't I always?" He mimicked.

"Yes. You do." She agreed without so much thinking, cause what's the point exactly anyway?

They stared at each other for a moment and no one dared to say a word. The light coming from the street post was illuminating on them and Jongin thought she's really beautiful, for the lack of better adjective to really describe her.

After a moment of awkward silence, she decided to clear her throat, a fake one of course.

She took off Jongin's coat that he draped on her earlier and handed it to him, Jongin who's eyes never leaving her face, took the coat absent-mindlessly and took her hand along with it, letting his own coat drop on the ground in the process.

Eunji looked up to him with his gesture, mouth in agape a little...

Torn between pulling her hand back from Jongin's light hold and holding to his hand more...

For some reason the time seemed to be so slow. Its like they're bewitched with each other's presence and they can't take off their gaze on each other.

"You should go, uhm, home, next door." She whispered, hesitantly. Maybe even hoping Jongin didn't hear it.

Jongin smiled warmly and took a two steps until the tip of their shoes almost touch.

His hands glided up on both of her shoulders and she almost shivers but there's still that same feeling she always gets from Jongin's touch.

That weird, warm and fuzzy feeling, all at once and its surprisingly comfortable.

She's sure the fuzzy feeling was with help of that two glasses of white wine she drank but she's most sure its the mere presence of him so close to her like that.

Jongin's simply breathtakingly gorgeous.

Sure she knew he's good looking. He's not one of the hotties if not the hottest in school or maybe even out of school but,

Has he been this beautiful all the while? Or she just didn't notice that much cause he's almost always there, beside her?

She remembers an awkward Jongin. An artistic dancer Jongin. A smart Jongin. A funny Jongin. A bookish Jongin. A shy Jongin. A confidant Jongin. A childish Jongin. A friend/library buddy Jongin. And a lot more of Jongins in that restricted area of the library, in the classroom and sometimes in the auditorium when his dance group performs. 

But she's never seen a Jongin like this before...

Has she been blind and dumb all this time to have this beautiful creature looming around her without her doing anything to lure him?

Has she just turned into one of his fan girls just now?

She may or she may not know what could happen next as she drown hopelessly to Jongin's beautiful eyes, like she's being hypnotized, and maybe she is, as his face gets closer to hers...

As his lips suddenly on hers very lightly, softly, then he pressed some more and then...

~~~

"So what were you doing with Jongin at some party?" Choa hovers near her at the cafeteria.

Surely news spreads so fast if it has something to do with Jongin.

"Where did you even hear that?" She asks and sipped on her iced coffee.

Choa cocks an eyebrow. "Someone saw the two of you at some fancy hotel, there's even a picture. Want me to forward it to you?" She offers eagerly.

Eunji almost groaned. She knew Jongin is popular but she never thought to that extent that someone would actually take a picture of them. 

That's just absurd!

People these days dont have much better things to do especially if they have their smartphones!

She knew better than to lie to Choa, besides she's not a liar. But she doesn't really want to talk about it.

She's still hung-over with what happened last night.

She's not sure how she's going to treat Jongin after last night.

Is she supposed to act normal? Like nothing happened?

She can do that, besides it was just a kiss.

Just her freaking first kiss!

And oh well, they nearly make out, or they were actually making out in front of her very house where her family could see most of all! If it wasn't for some kind of a wolf-ish howls somewhere, they wouldn't have separated!

What was she even thinking?

Goodness. She wasn't thinking at all. 

She sighed.

Should she ask Jongin to take responsibility then?

Well, that sounded more absurd!

Take responsibility, for what? For that freaking kiss?

Well, what then?

Jongin might just laugh at her and well, worse, not talk to her anymore!

He said before not to fall for him or he'll avoid her too like his fan girls.

Oh. Wait. She's falling for Jongin now?

What in the hell?!

That's not even logical! Just because of a kiss? No freaking way!

Oh dear mother father in heaven!

She's going nuts!

She's clearly affected more than anything else!

The first option was more ideal.

She's not the conservative type and Jongin definitely isn't too!

"Yah! Are you even listening?!" Choa snapped. Slapping the table to get her attention since she looked like she spaced out.

She sighed. "Sorry. I was, " Another sigh. "What was your question again?" Damn.

"Were you on a date with Jongin?" She asks with a glare. "You know I'm not mad if you will date him but I'm terribly disappointed and betrayed that you kept this from me! I mean, I thought we're best friends!" Choa said dramatically.

Eunji furrows deeply. "Whoah. What? Hold on. We weren't dating! It was a business event hosted by Jongin's family, their company's anniversary. I was my dad's proxy." She explained quickly.

Choa frowned. Obviously not satisfied with what she heard. "Well, that's not what I'm expecting to hear but...knowing you. I know you wouldn't just go with Jongin for a mere date. I'm disappointed."

She just shook her head. Wasn't it last time she was just flirting with Jongin and now she's sad because it wasn't a romantic date?

"Although, I really hoped you dated. I mean, you've been library couple -"

"W-what?"

"Library couple? That's what you are right? Don't think I don't know what you've been doing okay? The moment you stuck with Jongin in that library, you're already in the nook with him. You know how he's a hot piece of a meat pie and - "

"What?!"

'Hot piece of a meat pie?!'

She wonders what Choa was actually thinking whenever she says those kinds of things. If she's even thinking at all. Gross. 

"I would appreciate it if you stop cutting me off here okay? So as I was saying... ah right." She said, snapping her fingers. "Of course everyone knows you two are somehow bizarrely close, then pretends to not know each other outside the library as - "

"We're not pretending!"

"What did I just say?! Hear me out first okay?! I've been wanting to talk to you about this before and I think this is the right time. By the way, you two looked good in that picture from last night." She paused. Sipping on her own iced coffee.

Eunji rolled her eyes and gestured a hand to her friend to continue whatever bizarre she's talking about.

"So yeah, you see at first I thought you two are secretly dating since high school. If Jongin didn't have girlfriends from time to time I would really believe it until now. But, anyways, do you like him?"

Eunji almost choked on her iced coffee as she took a sip while Choa was talking.

"No." She flatly said, too quickly to be true.

"Well that was fast. You could have thought for a minute you know? Well, why not? I'm sure you're closer to him than anyone here that I know of since you spend more time with him. I mean, Jongin is nice to every one so I suppose he's way nicer to the people he's close with. He's hot. He's smart too. And don't think I didn't notice how you scream at the top of your lungs whenever we watch his group dance. So give me a hundred reason why the hell not?"

She asks that too herself. Why in the hell not? Obviously, she was greatly affected by that kissing event last night but that's not just how you measure if you like someone or not in a way right?

She's no pro in that kind of situations and right now she's just so confuse to be honest.

She's been up all night and now she's still thinking about it!

Maybe she'll have to give it a few more days to recover from her unexpected first kiss and then she'll assess her feelings again.

Right. That's just the logical way to explain her current confusion.

"Will you calm your shit down?! What's with you today?" She scolded. She's already having a mental and emotional breakdown and Choa's not really helpful at all. And she can't even tell her! Ugh!

"Wait... are you gay? You know I would understand and I will still be your friend so you better come out now."

Eunji's head started to throb. She didn't get enough sleep last night. And Choa's nonsense is making her head ache more.

Again, why is she friends with her again?

She really should contemplate with her life choices more moving forward.

"I'm not gay. I'm not secretly dating Jongin or anything like that. Goodness. Is that all you people think?"

Choa nodded.

"Okay. So we're settled then. I just don't understand why you don't like Jongin. I mean what's not to like and - "

"Can you just drop it? You're the first to know if I ever will date someone. Gosh Choa."

"Fine. But did you dance with him at least, at the event?"

"God. Its a business event. The people there are mostly way older and they're all businessmen. So no, we didn't dance. We talked about business that I didn't know about. That's what happened. Heck, why the hell are you so obsessed with me and Jongin now? I remember you said you're asking him to date, right?"

"It was a joke! Gosh you don't even know what a joke now? You really need to spend time with more people. Not just with Jongin...

"Oh God!" She huffed and gathered her things on the table. She might as well go home before she makes a mistake of breaking their friendship off just because Choa chose to be so annoying that very moment. "I'm leaving."

"Fine, so Jongin's picking you up now too?" Choa said and pointing her lips behind her.

When Eunji turned, it was indeed Jongin going their way.

Just the person she needs to see.

Whatever happened to that give it a few days?

Damn.

~~~

"Hey," She greeted him. Option A.

"Hey, are you going home? Can we talk?" He said, following her out of the cafeteria.

"We're already talking."

"Uh. Okay. I mean privately."

Oh God. Eunji can sense this is it. Gosh. Anyway, she'll just tell him that they should just forget about it, just to get it over with. Gosh.

She liked Jongin as a friend and a kiss, in the spur of the moment, won't change that. 

They're already at the parking lot when she spoke again.

"Will here do? Its just us anyway."

Jongin rubbed his nape. "Uhm. I was thinking of getting a coffee."

"But you don't like coffee."

"I'll get tea and coffee for you."

"Oh okay."

Damn, this is already getting awkward by the minute, Eunji thought.

"Your car or mine?" He asks.

"Oh. Let's just use each others. Which coffee shop are we going?"

"You know, Kim Minseok?"

She nodded. Minseok is one of Jongin's friends. He owns this small coffee shop down the road, outside the university. She just doubts they can have privacy there because its always full packed.

Then she remembered what Choa said, they though she's dating Jongin in secret before. They all knew their library sessions. Then there's this picture of them from last night.

Damn. She's not sure if going in public with him is actually a good idea.

Even though they're really not doing anything wrong, she still feels awkward. She doesn't like the attention at all.

What did she get herself into?

Jongin must have seen her hesitation when he told her if they can just go to his house, his parents weren't normally home during this time.

But, Eunji just grimaced. She knew its a friendly invitation and a much better option than the cafe. And her house is just next to his as well.

What the hell was she thinking?

"You haven't been in our place, after all these years anyway." Jongin said.

"And you've been in ours?" She asks suspiciously.

"Well, yes. I met your family plenty of times already. You just happen to be not around, but your brother is one of my friend's friends. So we sometimes play some video games at your place or my place or at our friends place." He explained.

"Oh. Okay." And no one told her that in the house?

Well, today is definitely a revelation.

Well, great.

~~~

Eunji parked her car in their driveway and quickly walked towards Jongin's house as he parked his own car. 

"Come in," he said and opened the door for her

"We can go to the media room." He said to her after asking a house help to bring them coffee and tea in the said room.

Jongin's home is, well, it looked regal. To put it simply.

She followed him as he turn to the left hallway from the spacious living area. They passed to three more doors and reached the second to the last door in that hallway, that leads them to a staircase, looks like a basement of some sort but not really. Like a secret passage to the secret dark room...

What is she even thinking?

She's going nuts!

Just because of some kiss.

Why can't they just talk about it like they normally do?

Damn.

They reached the bottom of that staircase and the room does look like a media room but more. Its like a house itself already!

A huge flat screen TV pinned on the wall.

A desktop computer with a huge dual monitor at the corner. And she remembers that Jongin has a laptop too whenever they're in the library, a MacBook Air.

A huge leather sofa in front of the TV. Some bean bags too around it.

A cabinet with glass panel of DVDs of movies and games and probably more.

A fridge taller than her.

Some plushies scattered on the floor on the side, in random colors, shapes and sizes.

"Uh. I got them from the arcade, you know those toy fishing machines." He said when he saw her eyes lingering on the plushies. "You can have them if you want." He offered.

"Ah. No thanks." Although they're cute. This is not the time for those cuddly plushies. Maybe after they get over this awkwardness, she can ask Jongin some of those.

More or less the room is neither messy nor neat. If that even make sense. Its like its messy but it seemed like Jongin organized it that way.

And the whole room is definitely a fortune itself. Its more like a play room for big boys than a media room.

If her brother has been here, like what Jongin said, she can't imagine his struggle not to leave.

Although she plays some video games too, her brother is the real geek junkie. She's still a mediocre player compared to him.

Anyway...

"Take a seat," he said and she did on the sofa.

The maid soon arrived and placed the two mugs of coffee and tea on the side table of the sofa.

When he maid left, Jongin sat beside her, with just enough space for comfort for the both of them.

She heard him let out a long sigh. She's never seen him looking this distressed before. He's always looking chill.

They're half facing each other on their way of sitting. And Eunji never felt so conscious and awkward before Jongin before. As much as she wants to attempt to make things lighter and less tense as it is, she can't find her voice and mind to speak up. 

What the hell?

She wished Jongin would speak up already! Just speak up anything and maybe it would -

"About last night - "

"Yeah. I mean. Can we just forget about it?" She quickly supplies.

Jongin was taken aback at her interruption. Disappointed most of all with what she just said.

"Why?" He asks.

Now, that they're close this way, literally, Eunji thinks Jongin didn't get enough sleep either. "Well, firstly, I know you didn't mean to do that. I mean, the night was, the ambiance last night was nice..."

Jongin furrows. "And so?"

"And we're dressed up nicely too. And we drank a bit. And you must have been carried away to do that... and me too, I guess, so yeah. You know what I mean?" God, she's never been so stupid at explaining things than this. 

Dammit! Why is it so hard to explain?

Jongin was looking darker by the second and Eunji thinks he's not understanding a word she's saying so she tried again after sighing some more.

"I meant to say is that I know you didn't mean to kiss me. So let's just forget about it and let's not talk about it anymore in the future and let's just be what we used to be. And you don't have to explain yourself to me." She said in faster pace than normal. Luckily, it seemed like Jongin got her point now because he chuckled.

"How do you know?" He asks instead. He doesn't really want to drag this longer than it already is but Eunji is just too cute when she's unsure of what to say and she's not even the kind.

What is she even saying? That he didn't mean to kiss her?

Oh, well, she's on for a surprise of her life! He thought.

"What?" She asks back, looking confuse more than anything. Jongin's gloomy face just a minute ago was gone.

"Who's assuming now?" He said, smiling playfully this time.

He loves to see her more confused looking face now.

God, how much he wanted to kiss her again, and maybe more than from that previous evening!

For someone who's smart, she's too dumb not to see him. Not to see that she's the only one he's been looking at all this time. He may have some girlfriends over the years but that didn't mean he stopped admiring her. Although he tried to keep his feeling to himself tried hard to like someone else, it just didn't work. He knew it was wrong but he can't help himself from loving her.

He can't even explain how much he loves her now.

Even though he knew she's someone out of his league.

He still kept on going back to the library.

Back to her snarky comments. Her witty comebacks. Her arrogant and intimidating self. Her small frame but big personality. Her cheeky grin and cute eye smile whenever he arrives and she's in a good mood, or her long face and thin lips on a pout when she's not. Her quirky habits of wearing a mismatch pair of socks and earrings, her belting out some Mariah Carey's songs with an equally insane Dub step she choreographed herself in her bedroom when she thinks Jongin's not in his room. Her crazy addiction of reading some yaoi mangas and finds them fascinating too.

And so much more and he knew if he were to write an essay about the things he loves about Eunji in detail, he might as well just publish his own encyclopedia of her.

Or he can just have it simplified in a piece of tissue that she usually gives him when he arrives in the library still a little sweaty from the dance practice cause he's in a hurry, afraid that he might not make it before she leaves the place.

He will write: 'ALL OF YOU.'

Honestly, he's already past to just liking her after all these years.

He's so in love with all of her.

He's so in love with her.

That's why he keeps coming back to her.

God knows how much he wanted to confess his love but always held himself off whenever a circumstance arises. Circumstances that he feels like she needed a confidant, a listener and or a friend more than anything else.

And for her he can he anything she needs him to be.

"Yah! Kim Jongin, what are you on even? I'm trying to be cool here after last night but that doesn't I'm tolerating you doing that again, you know? Don't try to act way cooler than me here and let's just get this over with okay? You're lucky I'm nice and still talking to you after you did that. Now, what are smiling about? Are you playing with me? Do you want to die in your own home?" She threatened, Jongin looks like an idiot, smiling by himself as if he's daydreaming or something.

Suddenly the awkwardness has left them, just like that?

Jongin smiled warmly this time, looking at her in the eyes.

"Sorry. I'm not playing with you. Now, Miss Jung, promise me you won't run away from me after I'm finish, oh?" He said inching closer.

She sighed. She's pretty sure Jongin is taking something. She must advise him later on, she thought.

"I can't promise but I'll try. What is it anyway, you're creeping me out. This is more than just about last night, I suppose? Are you coming out on me that you're gay or something? She said with a worry, not that she'll judge him if he really is anyway, but it would be nicer if he isn't.

Now, this is getting twisted and crazy by the minute.

"No, silly." He chuckles.

"Are you taking something illegal?" Now, that would really worry her if he does.

Jongin almost burst into a laughing fit. Almost. "That's, uhm, I thought you knew me better than that but no. Just, uhm, can you just promise me instead that you're not going to interrupt me after I say so? Please." He said almost pleading.

He's getting nervous by the second and if she keeps on talking he might not be able to finish his confession.

The venue may not be the most romantic but hey, he's romantic himself and will just make it up to her moving forward.

So he hopes she'll accept him. Or he'll die trying, okay that's quite troubling. Scratch.

"Oh. Okay. I can do that, I guess."

Jongin took a minute or two to compose himself as he watch Eunji looking back at him with a hint of worry on her face.

"I love you."

There, he finally said it. 

After eight years.

A few minutes has passed and Jongin almost forgot to breath and blink as he watch Eunji's expressions, from confusion if she heard him correctly and maybe wanting to say something as her lips parted a little but there's really nothing coming out so she closed them again, to staring back to Jongin with wide eyes and sighed and lastly to an utter look of surprise.

And him, having a mental and emotional breakdown deep inside cause she looks anything but pleased of what he said.

Maybe he shouldn't have confessed at all.

He's okay if they're going to be just friends forever.

Lies! Lies! Lies!

Of course he can't settle as her friend forever!

But he can't also settle with her expression right now.

To be honest, he's at lost too and didn't know what to expect of her.

He thought maybe when she kissed him back last night was a proof that she has feelings for him too, somehow.

But, she's just that. Simply unpredictable.

"Can you say something?" He urged with hesitation.

"Something?" Her not so smart response.

"I mean - "

"Ah yeah." She cut him off and held up a hand at him. "Sorry, am I allowed to speak now?" She asks after letting a harsh breath, combing her hair with her fingers.

Jongin nodded slowly.

"Oh. Okay. So that's it? The thing that you wanted to tell me is that you love me?" She started, not missing a beat.

And oh boy! Jongin felt cold and damned nervous as he should be because he knew that tone she's using, he's always dreamed of confessing to her and even practiced but he didn't get to prepare himself for this moment that he will get rejected.

Oh God!

He nodded.

"That's it really?" She probed, sounding a bit disappointed. Well, at least Jongin is not gay or not into some drugs or something bad.

She was so worried about their 'friendship' after last night and he's just going to say he loves her?

Jongin nodded again.

Now, he's not sure what's going on that crazy head of hers but Jongin is so lost.

Is she by any chance mocking or making fun of him and his feelings?

His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach at the thought. Well she didn't have to do that if she doesn't feel the same way.

She can just directly say it to him like she always does.

Or she -

"No poems, anything cheesy pick-up lines or something like that? And what about the kiss last night? Aren't you going to explain that? Or you know, give me another kiss perhaps?" She continued, watching Jongin's face gone pale to a tint of red after she spoke.

He blinked furiously and let out a relieved sigh. Then a smile graced his lips as he stared at her playful smile that turned into a cheeky grin.

"Yes, I think I like you too. Since you didn't have any long something to say than 'I love you', I might as well just do the deed for now?" She said and laced their hands together.

Jongin was still in daze and kept mum as he takes everything she's saying in.

"So, yeah. Since this is so sudden and all. I mean your confession. I just realized this now too but this doesn't mean I didn't like you before. I liked you as a friend and maybe more than that but I didn't want to entertain the idea. I can't really say that I love you, right now, I'm sorry but I think it would be unfair for you if I would, just because you say so. But, I really care for you and for our friendship." She paused and held Jongin's hand tighter. "Its so easy to fall in love with you and I'm sorry that I'm a late bloomer that I'm still on the 'liking you' phase and all." She chuckles and so as Jongin. "And I'm so bad at this too; I guess you already know that."

Jongin kept quiet cause if anyone knows how she is, it could be him. Other than her family. He's already happy that she's honest and giving them a chance.

"You understand right?" She asks before wanting to continue.

He nodded.

"Good. Also, I'm a little scared of this dating thing with all my mum's issue and other stuff that you are aware of. I have a lot of hang ups and I suppose you already know what you're getting into when you said you love me. I know we might fight and break up one day; gosh we're not even official yet, but yeah. If you feel like we're heading that path, I think all I'm saying is I just want you to be all honest with me and I will be too so we can work things out a.s.a.p. and avoid things to get worst. If we ever break up I want it to be mutual and we can still be friends. You know what I mean?" She said. She knew she might have sounded crazy but Jongin must know she's crazy now so he can still back off, gosh, she's talking about break up already!

Jongin just smiled and touched her cheek with the back of his hand, gracing it softly. Tilting her chin to look him up in eyes, because she's been talking head down.

"I know what you mean. And you know, I waited for eight years to confess and all I managed to say was three words. If I did have the courage to do this back then we would have been married by now with a three kids maybe?" He chuckles. "What I mean is, there's no way I'm letting you go after this. I waited eight long years, am I that crazy to just throw it all away? I'll be honest with you. I have always been. Now, here comes the cheesy part you're asking and low and behold cause there's a lot more to come until I can barely speak or write them to you. I can be whatever you needed me to be; I will be your friend, boyfriend, partner in everything. I will be by your side like how I've been since I've met you. I can't promise you more than enough than my mere presence as much as I can. I love you and you don't have to say it back until you're ready. I've loved you for so long and I can wait some more. I'll make you fall in love with me."

She smiled, she felt like crying but held back her tears. 

Maybe she loved him after all too.

She's just too preoccupied with all the other issues happening around her and Jongin has always been there almost all the time, in the library, waiting for her or running towards her.

Her heart might have been secretly yearns for him for all those times that Jongin wasn't around. Those times that she waited for an extra hour or two than the usual until her father calls her to come home.

Those times that's she wished for Jongin to see her and acknowledge her outside of the library. That she was happy when he finally did that one time. And how she felt so proud to be beside him that evening that a thought crossed her mind that somehow she belonged to him based on the way he holds her.

And that night when he kissed her.

She was so worried that Jongin will not see her in the library anymore. That she's okay with him still being friends and just forgets about it than be awkward forever because she knew he'll never like her like... like the way she must have like him.


	3. EPILOGUE

"If I win, you'll kiss me anywhere I want. If you win, I'll kiss you anywhere you want. How's that?" Jongin grinned widely as if he discovered the cure for cancer.

"So when do you lose then? You pervert!" She glared and smacks her boyfriend's arms.

They're at Jongin's media room and playing some video game and Jongin was definitely winning. So he proposed a bet to make her competitive, he said.

But the guy was just babbling nonsense!

"I'm not playing anymore!" She said and stood from the bean bag where she was sitting on but before she could transfer to the sofa, Jongin grabbed her wrist and pulled her down on his lap as he threw the consoles away from them, cause last time the made out, Eunji accidentally smacked one and it was an expensive one, not that he minded though, its just that's she's also the one who nags him when he bought a new one.

Now, where's the justice in that?

She landed perfectly on his lap as Jongin was cradling her. She's so small that she fits perfectly with him. 

Likes she's made for him.

Her arms automatically draped on his shoulders and nape as his on her waist.

"We haven't started yet and you're already claiming your prize?" She whispered in a husky voice. Leaning closer to Jongin's face and stopped when the tip of their nose touches.

"Do we have a problem with that?" He replies with an equally husky tone.

She smirked and tilted her head in angle to aim a better kiss, she run her fingers slowly to his soft hair, she thinks he needs a haircut because his bangs were almost past his eyebrows, and she likes seeing his eyebrows and eyes clearly.

She then glided her forefinger on the bridge of his nose, then to her thumb to touch his soft lips then a hand caressing his perfect jawline, as she pressed her lips on the other side of his dimpled cheek, and settled her head on his shoulder to snuggle. Her other hand still on his neck and jaw after she decided to settle it on then blade of his shoulder.

Jongin just sigh, feeling content all in all. He held her closer, and shifted her position for comfort. His arm around her waist and the other lay simply on her legs, softly caressing her bare legs now that her shorts had ridden up from their position shifting.

They can just stay like that for a long time and he wouldn't mind at all.

"NaEun's dating your best friend Teamin. You better watch him carefully for me or I'll smack you together if I heard my sister cry just even once." She blurted.

Jongin just laughed faintly. "I'm sure you would. Don't worry Teamin is a good guy." He assures. 

"How's your internship with the company?" He asks instead. Eunji's taking up a degree in accounting. Once she graduated, and passed the licensure exam and become a full pledged accountant, she'll be absorbed and be a regular employee in the company.

"Its great. Its just that your dad is obviously giving me favors. He's always checking up on me and asking if everyone is treating me nicely. Can you tell him not to do that, its embarrassing." She whined.

After they told their parents that they're officially dating, Jongin parents were so welcoming, as always. At first, she was scared of what they might say cause they have the right to say anything since Jongin's their son and they might want someone else for him since they're well off and she's from a broken family but instead she was welcomed with warm hugs as if she's already part of the family.

She thought she'll have soon-to-be 'in-laws' issues like those in the dramas. Good thing its only in the dramas.

She never felt so blessed

As for her own family, her dad cried. It was a sappy sight when he hugged Jongin; shed a tear as he told Jongin he'll break his bones if ever he'll do as much as making her cry. Her siblings were approved of Jongin, especially Taehyung and that's already given.

Oh. And her mum got married three months ago. They all attended the wedding.

After that fateful dinner, her mum didn't bother them anymore. Next thing they knew is she's already getting married and she sent them invitation. Her dad thinks its time to move forward once and for all and let the past be where it belongs and then he got them all some nice clothes for their mum's wedding.

It was a beginning for everyone.

"Just let him be. Everyone knows who you are and how good you are. Mom and Dad, they've always wanted to have a daughter but mom wasn't capable to conceive anymore after me. So when they learned about you, they keep on bugging me to date you already, you see, they already like you even before we dated." He explained, kissing her hair lovingly.

"Jongin," she said afterwards and looked up to face him.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you." She said wholeheartedly.

Until now she still can't believe she bagged the most sought after guy in their university, to say the least. She wanted to ask him the million-dollar question of 'Why me, of all the fan girls?'; but she thought, if Jongin will ask her the same question she honestly don't know the answer.

She just simply do. She loves him.

She cupped his face with her two hands and pressed and her lips to his. "For liking me." Kiss. "For approaching me first in the library." Kiss. "For waiting and always running towards me." Another kiss. "For understanding and sticking up with me." Kiss. For making me feel scared and yet secured." Another kiss. "And for loving me." And she kissed him with her heart. 

She felt Jongin smiled against her lips as called off the kiss to get a room for air. Jongin pulled her for a tight embrace.

"I love you." He whispered.

She draped her arms around him tightly. Thinking she must have save a nation from her previous life to deserve Jongin right now. 

She's just so thankful.

She knew she still has a long way to go to really deserve him but she's willing to take on everything just to be deserving of him.

She's still scared but Jongin is enough to make her believe that he's there to stay for so long as it takes, he says. 

If she wasn't brave enough that day when Jongin confessed and stayed scared and scarred, she wouldn't have felt this happiness right now.

Its all about taking chances to those things you wanted the most, no matter how afraid you are, then working hard to keep and flourish it.

It was all worth it.

"I love you too, all of you, so freaking much!"


End file.
